- Find me here: Linda J Wolff Instagram Profile
- Holding Space & the Empty Glass
- Emotional Energy; Energize or Drain
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Power, the Signs of Freedom
In the months before the pandemic hit, back in March and April of 2020, I had joined the dating site Plenty of Fish and met a man named Jay at a restaurant. We had a wonderful conversation and a great lunch. Then came the next date, and the next date. All seemed to be going well until one night everything changed; he became too aggressive with touching me.
I shared that I was not comfortable with this behavior, that I’m an old-fashioned type of girl. I like getting to know the you first. This began to feel like pressure that this was more sexual than it was anything else. An exchange of a kiss shouldn’t be interpreted as if you want it all. I wasn’t mentally ready for that after I had lost my ex to death’s grip. I wasn’t completely healed from grief yet.
When enough becomes enough.
This didn’t set well with him. Then came relentless remarks, and condescending tone, this put me off. I became appalled by it. I told him; I didn’t want to see him anymore. Why? Because there was no respect, I asked him many times to respect my boundaries, but, he wouldn’t listen. And he still would push. So, I blocked his number.
He would get a new number. He would call; make threats that he was going to ruin me, ruin my life and my business, and thought he had control. Phone number after phone number, I would block him again and again. He would find me on Facebook, on Instagram. Leave belittling comments, horrible words. Messages of him screaming, yelling, death threats.
Power comes from suffering, freedom is the release.
In the beginning, I feared for my life. It worried me, but I remembered fear is what fuels narcissists. He became furious when I wouldn’t react, when I wouldn’t become fueled. I didn’t give my power away anymore. I held on to it so tightly, protected it with everything I had.
The police; get a restraining order, they claimed. I moved to a new location; changed my phone number. Blocked him on everything I knew he would be on from Social Media to information sites.
There’s freedom in knowing how to handle certain situations, there freedom in not falling into the trap of victimhood. There’s freedom in knowing the steps to take; to prevent the horror from continuing.
Power; The Signs of Freedom
There’s something to learn from this lesson. Each and everyone has this power. It’s so powerful when you reach deep inside and grasp it. Use every aspect of it. I have learned that fear is a message and when I feel it I must listen to it. Not run from it like a scared child; not endure it and take it. But stand strong in my moral compass of strength and fend off the stalker, use tactics that protect me.
No one controls my world of peace and happiness; only you do. Let’s stop giving our power away. Stop giving our energy away to things or people who don’t serve our purpose.
I share these stories of vulnerability in hopes that it can give you strength. Sending love and light to all of you…
Linda J Wolff