In Physical Touch Versus Sex: Love Languages Explained, what if sex wasn’t an option? Would you abandon your partner because they couldn’t offer it to you?
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Physical Touch versus Sex
I wonder how many people have left a perfectly good relationship because there was no sex. Actually divorced their partner. Let’s ponder over this delicate topic. The phrase “perfectly good relationship” deserves some explaining.
You have two people who care deeply about one another. They solve issues together through listening and communication and show love through affirmations and acts of service towards one another. They share in daily activities like cooking, walking, dancing, and watching Netflix together while showing feelings of love and appreciation through hugs, kisses, holding hands, or cuddling.
Yet, one has erectile dysfunction. Do you think this is a couple that would end in divorce? The answer is no, they do not allow erectile dysfunction to tear at the fabric of such a deep meaningful bond. They have learned how to work around it. There are other ways of having sex together, through physical touch and use of toys. It’s another level of a perfect sexual experience. Read that again, it’s the experience and all of the above. It raises their level of consciousness and awareness. This heightens the love languages to its fullest potential.
Sex is a physical experience for some with no emotions involved.
Until it isn’t as in the example above. Too many have sex without ever enjoying it in its fullness. When we are dating and sharing the physical act with someone, it might not mean anything to some. Others tend to attach love to it too soon, and that should not be about love.
I’m not putting anyone down for this, as long as both parties are mutually consenting that it’s nothing more than an attraction and fun.
Physical touch is the glue.
That couple I was talking about earlier in this post is myself and my sweetheart. He was embarrassed at first when erectile dysfunction showed its face. But, with any situation that arises in our relationship, we communicate, listen with full attention, and surmise ways to compromise and hold space for openness and honesty. There’s beauty in this when two people can be so authentic and vulnerable, a rawness, lacking judgment or expectation.
We are not embarrassed by it; it’s there. We can actually tease, flirt, and have fun with the ways we can amp up our desire, which in turn just solidifies our strength together as a couple.
I share my stories in hopes that it might help give you a different perspective of what love languages can look like.
I had a man reach out to me this morning, asking how this can be possible? I have had nothing but terrible relationships. I honestly answered him by saying, sometimes we want love so badly that we overlook the clues being handed to us right away (AKA red flags or wrong persons). He went completely silent on me.
Sometimes, we are the problem. I was when I was in my dating phase, looking in all the wrong faces and places. I cannot help but be completely honest and transparent with all of you because I want to help you find happiness and love.
I hope you have a beautiful weekend. Sending love and light!
Linda J Wolff