In “#1 Affirmations and Resentment: Five Love Languages,” I have two words of importance: appreciation and recognition. Both of these correlate with affirmation and resentment. I’m gonna share my own experiences of what I have learned and help you with using these five love languages.
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My affirmations of love explained through an example.
Something a couple should share is their affirmations of love to one another, not just once in a while. Something I sent to my Phillip this morning, and I try to share every day, is how much I appreciate him in all the things he does for me.
My affirmation to him: “I appreciate sitting here next to you every morning, sweetheart, sharing coffee and sometimes saying nothing, but, enjoying your presence. I love you! 💕 “
There’s something so significant in what I shared with him. First, I just write what I feel, in the moment. I sent it to him in a text, why?, I like to mix it up. I like to look into his eyes and tell him how I value him.
It’s really cute, because it throws him off his game because he wasn’t expecting it. See, something I know about his past is that he never had anyone tell him how much he is loved and valued. He’s great in giving it back, but not in the receiving it.
Appreciation and Recognition: Explained
For me, appreciation is the thoughts I have about Phillip and all the amazing ways he shows the five love languages. Me, recognizing these things and making an effort of leaving a paper trail of hand-written notes, out of the blue text messages or verbal, meaningful compliments.
When I apply this love language of affirmations to my day, I apply it to friends, to my children, and people I work with. Can you feel the magic that happens when you take this with you everywhere?
In my Phillip, I see the body language, his chest puffs up cause I just boosted his ego. His eyes glaze over with this profound rush of love. The look that says; I have the most amazing woman who recognizes and appreciates everything I do for her.
What would happen if you stopped right now and thought about your beautiful person that shares your life with you and you sent them a affirmation of love out of the blue?
I would love to be the fly on wall watching the heart absorb this message. I want you to do something for me where ever you are right now. Think about that beautiful human being that supports and loves. Create an affirmation of love for them, right now. Send it to them.
If this is done once a day, I promise you things would change for you.
Affirmations of love or Resentment: Explained.
Now, I’m going turn the table of thoughts here. Think of the person in a relationship, who never hears those words of affirmation, those words of emotion, of value or worth.
That person works forty hours a week, comes home and cooks a meal for their family, puts in 20 hours a week keeping the home clean and sanitary, committing to raising the children, taking them to doctors appointments, up at night when they are sick. Up with you to get you off to work and not once you tell them how much you appreciate nor recognize their commitment to you or your children.
I know of one word. Resentment.
I can relate to this so much, was married twice and divorced twice. We would fight and argue over foolish stuff. What would changed all of this for me was them paying attention to the affirmations, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
When a partner is distracted or distant. a person feels unseen and unheard.
If you really care and respect your partner, show it. Take the time to become knowledgable in how you can show them these five love languages.
Do you know why someone cheats on you?
Because you neglected the opportunity to express and show love, and by doing so the vicious cycle of resentment starts and grows until it forces that person to leave. Or lead to divorce or a breakup.
This is what happened to me. I tried so many times to be heard. Until I just gave up. Therapy didn’t help, because they weren’t open to accepting they could be partly at fault. When we are equipped in meeting our person’s emotional needs; likewise them meeting your needs. A beautiful foundation is created between two people.
Today, is practice day for affirmations of love. Write one for your significant other. Be ready for a reaction. If you get a reaction, good or bad. It’s been noted.
If it’s a bad reaction, don’t react badly back at them. Let it sink in. Let them sit with it. If they respond with a beautiful message back acknowledging is key.
This is a starting place for couples…
Stay tuned; tomorrow will be about Acts of Service: Five Love Languages.
Sending Love and light!
Linda J Wolff