Today’s post, Personal Coaching: Take a Pass, let’s walk through the thinking process of emotional triggers of breakups. She’s a girl in pieces.
Take a pass on the emotional triggers of breakup
Good morning, beautiful intelligent beings! I hope this day finds you well and cultivating calm within you. My morning started with a text saying “Tell me not too!” I knew she was struggling again. Struggling with those painful emotional triggers of a heartbreak. Damn, it’s hard to release those feelings of yesterday.
Only three weeks after her breakup, I completely understood where she was at emotionally. I once stood in those emotions before. When they hit you, it’s when you are reflecting upon “the what if “I did this differently, or spoke differently. Would he have stayed. No, he wouldn’t of…
Something I learned the hard way, no matter how hard I tried or whatever I did or said. He was never gonna stay.
See, for her, the subliminal messages were there all along. He was so blatantly honest with everything he did. The weekend trips he would spend with friends away from her. The cocaine and alcohol benders. The text that were never responded too. All of it were honest answers to the nagging feeling inside of her.
She pretended it would all be fine if they moved in together. Yet, the honest answers were more prevalent with time. Until, two years past. Then the blowup in the driveway. Anger flashed from her eyes. Words were said that stabbed deep within the their ribcage. Then he drove off into the storm.
Emotional triggers of breakup don’t control you
What happened in the days to follow left her devastated. Through her google surveillance camera, he took pieces of their life apart. Removing his belongings without saying a word. Day after day, she watched with no exchange of words. She was crushed, confused at the way this was playing out.
This was when a friend referred her to me. Her first words. How do I start over?
As a personal life coach; listening is the biggest portion of my job. Me, opening space for her without judgement or expectations.
She shared her story; as I listened; I started seeing the same scenario repeat itself again and again. The wrong person for the right person. She struggled with abandonment attachment. Because of grief, she never really gave herself time to heal from the loss of those companionships.
The need to feel that void became more important than her soul feeling the warmth of its own love.
It was a vicious cycle she was playing. I understood exactly what she was going through. I had to help her see that her own powerful energy is what she was seeking all along.
We met several times, each time was her recognizing the girl in pieces that need inner strength, and helping her find her feminine energy. Learning to listen and hold the hand off her inner child and comfort her through the tough moments.
So an agreement was made that every time those emotional triggers of breakup came crashing into her soul. She was to reach out through text or a phone call.
Each time she would question; “I just can’t understand how he can just walk away like that with no closure.”
Self-care for emotional triggers of breakups
I asked her: How many times has your phone pinged with a text or a call from him since he left? Her eyes got big and misty. “Zero.”
She looked at me with a OMG, I see what you are trying to say! He never truly loved me, I was only filling the need for closure again. She said to me: I don’t ever want to go thru with this again. Can you help me? What do you think I said?
When she was struggling; she would send me that text “Tell me not too!”
I would say: It’s time to take a pass from staying in those emotions. Let’s lean back into our powerful energy. Let’s take that slow breath, release it out quietly, slowly. Get up, shower, and read an affirmation that reminds you how significant you are to yourself and the world.
Self-Help Resources & Books
- Heal From Your Past, Create Yourself
- It Ends With Us
- Things We Never Got Over
- The 5 Love Languages
- Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress
Understand where he is at and that he can’t give you what you are seeking, forgive him, and wish him well inside that space you are opening for loving yourself.
There’s a park bench and walking path with your name on it, and there you can reflect in the beauty around you. Listen to the birds sing their song of life, open space for feeling the breeze brush against your face. The ocean opens up crashing waves saying I’m here to help you through this.
Love on the girl in pieces, let the tears stream into the water of reality, and feel the song of your heartbeats. There’s too much living to do! There’s someone out there that will align with your value system and your deep passionate, powerful self. So, take a pass on those emotional triggers of breakup…
And love on the beautiful intelligent being that you are!