In this insightful post, Emotional Challenges: Their Opinion. Your Opinion. I want to help YOU distinguish the difference between their opinion of you and your opinion of yourself. The hardest, emotional challenge is dealing with other people’s criticism.
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The Emotional Challenges of criticism.
It’s challenging knowing how to react to criticism. It was something that was hard for me through my teenage years and young adulthood. I took everything to heart. You could say; I wore my emotions on my sleeve. Did you experience that too?
But, what if we could change that. What if we were able to learn and practice cultivating calm within at an earlier age.
First, let’s talk about the types of criticism there are…
Some criticism is healthy mentally, helps us learn how we can improve our mindset and skills. This list below is to help you know the difference.
1. Constructive criticism: This is feedback given with the intention of helping someone improve and grow. It is specific, focused on behaviors or actions, and offers suggestions for improvement.
2. Destructive criticism: This is feedback given with the intention of hurting or belittling someone. It can be vague, attacking the person rather than the behavior, and lacking in helpful suggestions.
3. Positive criticism: This is feedback that focuses on what someone is doing well, rather than on areas for improvement. It is often used to encourage someone and build their confidence.
4. Negative criticism: This is feedback that focuses on what someone is doing wrong or needs to improve, rather than on their strengths. It can be helpful when delivered constructively but can be demoralizing when delivered destructively.
5. Fair criticism: This is feedback that is unbiased, objective, and based on a thorough analysis of the situation. It is delivered in a calm and respectful manner and is focused on helping someone improve.
Destructive & Negative Criticism
Past: You want to know what was hard for me? When I became a writer, then an author, I didn’t know how to emotionally interpret constructive criticism. I took it personally that I was being put down for my writing. I became angry. Boy, that was the wrong reaction on my part back then.
Present with Practice: Now days, when I make a grammatical error in writing. My calm and polite response is; “Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I really appreciate.” Guess, I’m human too!” Oops!
Do you see the difference in each reaction?
Past: When I became a live stream, and narrator host, the comments and opinions people hurdled at me online was down right brutal. For the first few months: this was emotionally challenging for me. When you read these comments so much it can make you doubt yourself and the ability as a life coach.
Here’s a few to say the least:
- How can someone be so ugly?
- How does a asshole like you even have a following?
- You’re so fat I could bounce you like a rubber ball?
When a person reads enough of these kinds of destructive criticism, it can make you second guess yourself. Some people become introverts, others take THEIR life.
Differences make an impact.
My present with practice: I remember one time I was doing a fun Easter live stream with my daughter Bianca. We had quite a few viewers watching, we were painting Easter eggs with colorful abstract artwork. Each egg unique from the next one.
A teenage girl kept leaving nasty comments like one’s above; I soften my heart because I felt this intuitive feeling that she was hurting inside. Through the live stream I didn’t react, but, I asking her if she was okay. She kept saying she was fine, yet, inside me, I felt, she wasn’t, because her comments became awfully mean.
I knew, there’s was something she wanted to say. But, she was afraid of being judged.
So, kindly, I just asked why she was being so cruel. I shared with her that I felt she was hurting from something and if she wanted to talk to me through DM that I was here to help or listen.
Self-Help Resources & Books
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When we can understand where people are at,
we can break the silence of heartache. When we show empathy. We can practice being open, then learning is insightful.
What happened next was beautiful. Right there in front of viewers and myself was this teenage girl that broke down and cried.
She shared with me that she was scared. She was going to have another major surgery on her birthday. Like all the many other times she had endured them without having no one to help her through it. It was a matter of life or death with these surgeries. I listened intently as she told me, her horrific story of pain and heartbreak.
What I came to realize is that her anger was transparent and every foster home she went to. She kept being thrown out on the streets to survive alone again. What she needed was help. She needed therapy in understanding what she was feeling.
A deep dive into their words & responses.
The most honest question to ask yourself is this. Am I overreacting to some words or actions that are not intentionally meant for me? Am I taking these words or actions personally? People say rotten things for certain reasons and most of the time it has nothing to do with you.
Here are 5 reasons why people may say mean words:
1. They are experiencing negative emotions: Sometimes people may say mean things when they are feeling angry, frustrated, or upset. They may lash out at others as a way to vent their emotions.
2. They lack emotional intelligence: People who lack emotional intelligence may struggle with understanding the impact their words have on others. They may say mean things without fully realizing how hurtful they are.
3. They may have a negative mindset: People with negative mindsets may be more prone to criticizing and finding fault with others. They may use mean words as a way to put others down or make themselves feel superior.
4. They are seeking attention: Some people may use mean words as a way to draw attention to themselves. They may say things that are hurtful or controversial in order to get a reaction from others.
5. They are using mean words as a defense mechanism: Sometimes people may use mean words as a way to protect themselves from getting hurt. They may put up a defensive barrier by attacking others before they can be attacked themselves.
Practice in the present moment.
Now a days, I don’t trade my time for criticism. I align myself with those people that are continually rebooting the brain, finding inner peace, and living life successfully.
Those are the type of people that I trust and their opinion matters to me because it is full of constructive and positive feedback.
I practice in every moment of building a relationship with you, in establishing an alignment of hope, prosperity, and cultivating a calm mindset within. Also, I don’t really care what Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter think of me. My opinion of myself is the only one that counts.
In conclusion: I hope that you go forward in life and don’t take too much to heart when people insult you. It’s not about you anyways. Its about them. Wish them a pleasant day and move on. Can you do that?
Because they don’t deserve that beautiful light that emits from your soul. Wishing you all a productive and enlightening day! Sending love and light!
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