Understanding the concept behind Willingness Versus Resentment Mentality requires one of practice, putting the work in through steps and forgiveness. It’s my passion for Cultivating Calm Within, it’s my compassion to help you understand what you are feeling through these emotions.
More informational links.
- Linda Wolff: Reboot the Brain. Find Inner Peace. Drive Ambition. Live Successfully.
- last post: Digital Detox Therapy: Unplugging the Mind
- Stillness is Power. Practicing Calm
- Get the DAILY Newsletter for Cultivating Calm With You!
What emotions are hidden behind resentment?
I don’t know about you, but for me this question ask for some hard truths. I can bet 100% of you can connect with this question. Also, that you might carry some resentment towards a particular person or people.
First, let’s look up the definition of resentment.
Cambridge University Press & Assessment offers the best definition for me. “a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, nor want.” I’m gonna add more… How about “a persistent ill will regarded as wrong, insult, or injury from person or people.”
It’s complex when we visualize the depth of resentment, we feel emotions of bitterness, displeasure, maybe disappointment, or disgust. Usually the emotions rise when there’s a consistency from that same person.
For example, when I was a young child my father would have my siblings and myself work in his mechanic shop, we lifted and moved parts of heavy engines around to help him organize his shop. I believe appreciation should be verbalized from time to time. It makes one want to do more for that person. Do you agree? Yet, there was never a thank you. What do you think I felt? I felt used or mistreated?
What Are the Signs of Resentment?
- Harboring feelings of anger when thinking about a particular experience
- Overthinking about the experience in reference to the trigger strong emotion
- Emotions full of regret
- Resentment create avoidance or fear complex
- Resentment could diminish or create tense feeling in relationships
- Feeling that you are invisible, creates suicide thoughts
- Resentment over time creates mental health issue, physical ailments (stomach)
See, I can relate to all these signs of resentment. I suffered these emotions for quite some time until I learned that have the willingness to forgive and let go. It’s easy to carry resentment towards people and how horrible they can be to you.
There’s one key component to carry these feelings of resentment, the fact is, it made my mind, body, and soul feel heavy and unhappy. After so much time, I wanted to set myself free. Isn’t resentment just too exhausting?
Self-Help Resources & Books
- Heal From Your Past, Create Yourself
- It Ends With Us
- Things We Never Got Over
- The 5 Love Languages
- Stop Overthinking: 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress
Willingness versus Resentment: Me
I want to ask you a question. What unresolved conflict do you carry around from day to day? Something I used to do before now, before the learning to open space for practice and healing inside me.
I used to be so damn sensitive, I wore my emotions on my sleeve. Becoming angry was easy for me, blame was easy too. Someone could critique me at home or at work and I would overthink it, take offense to it. Boy, did I have a lot of maturing to do back then. You know, it’s when I realized I could be part of the unresolved problem in my relationships with family and myself.
The continual repetition of habits or patterns was what spoke to me especially in relationships, the dating game too. Understanding why I couldn’t hold a long term relationship. I had unresolved issues with separation anxiety, being controlling instead of trusting. Neediness or clinging.
I want to learn now, and I will always be learning how I can improve my mindset and actions. “A beautiful learning experience is when we can say or write the things we need to work on. Taking the steps to recognize in ourselves where change is needed. Also, apologizing to those we might have hurt along the way of our immaturity.”
Willingness versus resentment is the transferring of energy and light.
Willingness is the state or quality of being prepared or inclined to do something. Especially something that requires effort or involves a degree of risk or discomfort. It refers to an individual’s openness and readiness to engage in a particular activity or to accept a specific situation or idea.
A person who is willing is typically receptive to new experiences, ideas, and perspectives. They have a readiness to take action to pursue their goals or fulfill their responsibilities. The term is often associated with positive attributes such as flexibility, cooperation, and a desire to learn and grow.
Can you forgive yourself and others? I know if I can, you might be able to. When I learned to stop focusing on the issue, and started looking inward where I could change myself and find resolve. I saw that understanding people and myself, there was a clear picture that a part of me was selfish and I didn’t have empathy or compassion towards others suffering. Game changer for me?
I found this amazing article & PDF from Conflict Resolution Network . It’s a great read.
I found a few things in that I needed to work on, and I am willing to continue in practicing awareness, rebooting my brain and finding inner peace. Look at the list below and see if you identify with some areas you might need to work on, write your list and put the work in to find your peace:
- fear of further hurt
- need to be right (the other person is wrong)
- identification of the other person as the enemy
- belief that it won’t be any use
- enjoyment of conflict as an ongoing pastime or focus of attention
- desire for revenge
- need for apology
The concept is pretty simple. But accepting of letting go of unresolved issues and holding onto that conflict is the hardest part. Even admitting we could be wrong is hard. I understand completely! I have had to some hard work and admit my faults in order to free myself from this relentless weight or maybe burden to find inner peace.
In conclusion: I will open space to let go of any resentment and forgive. I will feel freedom and it’s liberating energy and move forward without feeling bitterness. I will thrive! Another great read: Digital Detox Therapy: Unplug the Mind